This week I met a group of leaders who felt guilty about being selfish with their time. They were all exhausted and the mood was low. Leadership can feel like endless juggling. Between meeting professional demands, addressing team needs, and navigating constant change, there seems to be little time for you. If you're a leader finding yourself emotionally drained, physically tense, and struggling to maintain balance, know that you're not alone, and you're not failing.
I offer you an invitation to be "selfish" in the healthiest, most life-changing way possible. Because sometimes, being selfish is actually the most selfless act you can do, not just for yourself, but for those you lead and love.
The Cost of Ignoring Rest
During this leadership peer session, a room full of CEO's and Leaders shared a common theme: exhaustion. Their plates were full, crammed with work demands, reacting to constant change, and absorbing the challenges their teams faced. The ripple effects were crystal clear:
- Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted: a perpetual state of survival mode.
- Tension spilling into personal lives, leaving them disconnected from their loved ones.
- A lack of effectiveness at work: their leadership suffering from low energy and short tempers.
When asked if they could identify moments in their day to breathe, rest, and reset, there was unanimous agreement, they had none. Worse, they felt guilty at even thinking about prioritising themselves.
But here’s the truth that shifted their perspective, and may shift yours too:
Rest and recovery aren’t selfish, they’re essential.
The Power of Taking 30 Minutes a Day
Imagine carving out just 30 minutes of your day to step away from phones, emails, or noise. No to-do lists, no interruptions, just time to be. This simple practice can be the lifeline you need to regulate your nervous system and regain the clarity to lead with purpose.
Not sure how to make it work? Here’s the plan:
Own Your 30 Minutes
Set aside 30 minutes daily to spend alone. Use this time however feels restorative to you, maybe it’s sitting in silence, meditating, listening to calming music, or simply being present with your thoughts. It’s not about activity, it’s about stillness.
Communicate Your Needs
Explain to those around you why this time is crucial. Be clear. This is not selfish indulgence; it’s your mental and physical reset. Ask for respect and support in creating an interruption-free space.
Request Support From Others
Sometimes, taking time for yourself requires teamwork. Ask your partner to take the kids for an hour or maybe prepare dinner while you recharge. Delegating not only frees you up, but it encourages those around you to participate in caring for the household or team.
Offer Support In returm
Selflessness thrives in reciprocity. While you prioritise your rest, offer the same to your partner or team. Ask, “What do you need to feel recharged today?” and make space for them to take their well-earned breaks. When both give and receive support, everyone thrives.
Why You Shouldn't Feel Guilty
We hear it all the time, taking time for yourself can feel indulgent or wrong, especially when others depend on you. But consider this:
- How effective can you truly be when you’re operating from a place of depletion?
- How supportive can you be for your team or family if irritability or exhaustion takes over?
Leadership begins with you. Rest and recovery empower you to make better decisions, show up fully engaged, and model self-care for others. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
The Science Backs It Up
Rest is more than relaxation; it’s key for regulating your nervous system. When you pause, breathe, and allow time for stillness, your body shifts out of fight-or-flight mode and into rest-and-digest mode. This is where clarity, creativity, and calm come alive.
Think of rest as the ultimate productivity hack. It’s not about doing less; it’s about doing more, better, because you’ve recharged.
Life-Saving, Life-Changing
When rest and recovery become a part of your leadership toolkit, everything changes. You gain the energy and emotional bandwidth to support your team more effectively. Your personal relationships strengthen as you show up present and more connected. Most important, your health improves, giving you the resilience to meet life’s challenges, head-on.
Being “selfish” with your time? It’s not just good for you, it’s transformational for everyone around you.
Take Action Today
Start small. Take just 30 minutes today to disconnect, find a quiet space, and rest. If guilt starts creeping in, remind yourself that this is not about luxury, it’s about survival, growth, and becoming the best version of yourself.
Leadership isn’t just about serving others. It’s also about serving yourself so you can lead with energy, clarity, and compassion. Being “selfish” might just be the bravest, and most selfless thing you can do.
Where will you carve out time for your rest today? Share your thoughts or strategies in the comments below we’d love to hear from you!
And if you are struggling, We can be your coach to help you gain space in your diary each month to rest, reflect, prioritise, and set boundaries.