Thomas Kilmann’s Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) works on the assumption that there are two basic dimensions of behaviour which define five different modes for responding to conflict situations.
Each of us falls somewhere on the scale and impacts how we enter conflict situations; depending on the mode depends on the conflict style adopted.
Competing:
Assertive
Not cooperative
Power-focused
Puts personal concerns above others
Strives to win their position and will defend the position they believe is correct
Accommodating:
Unassertive
Cooperative
The opposite of competing
Will always put others concerns above their own
Will listen to others orders above personal desires
Prefers not to be involved in conflict
Avoiding:
Unassertive
Cooperative
Usually puts others concerns above their own during conflict
Does not address the conflict
Withdrawing from a situation that appears as a threat
Collaborating:
Assertive
Cooperative
Tries to work with others to find solutions
Digs into underlying concerns to resolve issues
Strong focus on collaboration
Attempts to learn from disagreements
Compromising:
Very assertive
High levels of cooperation
Aims to make both sides of conflict happy and find a middle ground
Doesn’t deep dive into the root cause of conflict but doesn’t avoid it either
Each of us use all approaches at times, some lean heavily to one style, others adopt certain styles with certain people or positions. Understanding your natural approach will help you to adapt or recognise unhealthy behaviour pattern.
Activity
As a team rate whether you think each team member sits within Kilmann’s model and discuss the best way you think you can manage opposing people.
What can you implement in your team to help the relationships?
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