If there is one person who speaks to courage, it is Brene Brown. In her book, Dare to Lead, she says:
Integrity - choosing courage over comfort; it’s choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast, or easy; and it’s practicing your values, not just professing them.
Brene Brown
It takes courage to stand up for what you believe in and speak your truth. In the moment it can feel safer to just ignore the behaviour of others, pretending to keep the peace and just fit it. Yet, the leader within all of us calls for our courage to choose courage over comfort. To do what is right for you, your team and your organisation.
Think about your own relationship with courage. If you hear or see someone behave in a way that you find rude, sexist, homophobic, sarcastic or harmful, even if other people look away awkwardly or even laugh, are you going to speak up. Will you say, "That's not how we behave here, please don't speak like that here"? It won't be easy, but it is the right thing to do. Sure the other person will feel uncomfortable, but it is a small price to play for the cohesion of the team. when you don't take a stand, you are signalling to others that it is OK to behave like that.
Brene goes on to explain that the discomfort doesn't last half as long as we imagine.
"And I’ll share a little hack with you about those seconds of discomfort. I did an experiment several years ago to see how long the intense, in-the-moment discomfort lasts. After a couple of months of tracking it, I landed on eight seconds. In most situations, there are eight seconds of intense discomfort."
Can you show courage for 8 seconds for the good of the team? I think you can.
Now, I am a huge advocate of understanding what drives the discomfort. You may identify it through the power imbalances in the previous lesson. However, there is often something a little deeper to explore. Your subconscious has developed all kinds of tricks and tools to keep you safe. The saboteurs in your mind are really skilled at convincing you to play it safe. Understanding your saboteurs and the messages they give you is a great self-awareness exercise. See the link below to discover your anti-courage saboteurs.
Take the positive intelligence saboteurs assessment to discover your biggest barriers to courageous conversations
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