Tricks and tips

01

Know your rights and values

Building a sense of assertiveness means becoming grounded. When you are clear about what matters to you and why, you are able to be clear about them. If there is a goal that you want to achieve, get clarity over why you want to achieve it. Own it. Embody it. Right it down and communicate it. Values work is a great starting point, so head over to the values course if you haven't completed it already.

02

You are not responsible for others behaviour

You are responsible for your own behaviour and how that impacts others. You are not responsible for others happiness or anger. If someone reacts to your assertiveness with anger, do not meet them with anger. Remain calm, grounded and name what is going on. Equally, if someone is caving in rather than assertively responding to you, notice.  Be respectful and empathetic, and try to find a way forward without compromising yourself.

03

Practice saying no

If you aren't skilled at saying know, practise in relationships where you feel safe or when the stakes are not so high. Perhaps you can practice scripting it in your head first, or role playing in your imagination. You are safe to say no.