Take action

You are in a meeting and you find yourself overcome with doubt. You look around the room and think everyone deserves ton be there but you. Then, someone asks you a question and you freeze. Your mind panics. You get tense. You are in survival mode.

1. Notice your body reactions and breath into them. Perhaps you sweat, you tense your jaw or start shaking. Your body will get ready for a fight, to run away or freeze. It's an automatic response and the more you fight it, the worse it gets. Your body often reacts before your mind catches up, so the first thing to do is notice what is happening in your body. Take a deep breath (or as many as you can in all honesty) and centre yourself. When I say breath into that part of the body, I mean take a deep breath whilst focusing on your heart rate, your tense shoulders, your jittering knee, and imagine yourself filling that area with a calming breath. It can be done in an instance and just say, "all is calm" on the exhale. You are retraining you mind to react differently under stress. 

2. Notice the triggers. When did the thought processes start? What happened to trigger the physical reaction? Who was there? What was the environment? As you begin to understand the triggers, you can prepare yourself for them in the future. You can empower yourself, calm yourself, or give yourself a pep talk before or even during the moment. Understanding and acknowledging the triggers is incredibly powerful. Reframe your thoughts and realise that what you’re feeling isn’t fact, it's just your perception. Feelings of inadequacy and fear are all in your head. Instead, imagine how you’d feel if you could turn these thoughts into something positive. Instead change the narrative to “I don’t know everything...yet. I’m still learning”, "I deserve to be here", "I am safe".

3. Notice your behaviours. Your feelings impact your thoughts, which impact your behaviours, that form your beliefs. Notice what triggers your behaviours and what behaviours show up. Do you become an avoider, a dominator, a blagger or bumbler? What are your imposter behaviours and can you catch yourself in them? Retraining the automatic responses takes practice, but going through these steps will help you master them. If you notice yourself falling into old patterns of behaviour, stop and think, "What would I say or do now if I felt safe?" This is your opportunity to demonstrate authenticity and integrity.

After the event it is time to do some reflection and contemplation work.

Reflection is looking back with objectivity and truth. It's like looking in the mirror and seeing what is truly there with a clear mind. What did you do, say, think and feel? What could you have done differently? What would stop you repeating this in the future? Is what you imagined really what happened? What is fact and what is negative self talk, guilt or shame?

Contemplate on what causes your thought patterns. Contemplation is the practice of looking beneath the surface. It's where the real clarity emerges and truth is seen. You can simply contemplate your owns thoughts. Some people like to journal, meditate or talk to their coach. The practice goes beyond reflection, and contemplate the truth and lessons learned.

In contemplation you will see patterns, beliefs, attitudes and habits. You will discover underlying cause and effect. You will understand and accept, and soon lead to change.

And finally, you are ready to create a new way of being and behaving.

Through reflection and contemplation you are creating self-awareness. You are learning about who you are, how you behave and what you say to yourself. You learn your strengths and weaknesses. You discover you fears and blocks. You become aware of what is fact and what is fiction.

You become more authentic and are able to align your thoughts, feelings and actions in the moment. You forgive yourself when you make a mistake, and pick yourself up. You are kinder to yourself, and practice self compassion. Your resilience grows and you pick yourself up and carry on.

The more you do it, the more you form new patterns of behaviour, leading to new habits and new automatic thoughts. You are literally rewiring your brain to become better, quicker, smarter. 

You will also create support systems around you. That might be breathing, talking, walking, writing, mediating... you find the right support systems for you. Until one day, you realise that the imposter has been banished and your are healed.