My core values are independence and support. The word strings (secondary values) add richness, and challenge to my core. So, independence to me looks like autonomy, respect, freedom, accountability and acceptance. Support means kindness, helping others, asking for help, looking out for each other, community.
Now the challenge for me, where I need courage and conscious thinking is when my values are in conflict. For example, I might want to make a decision for myself and do what makes me happy, yet I am responsible for my children and my love and kindness for them means I have to consciously choose between taking a job abroad or staying home with my kids. I have to do what feels consciously right for me. I don't stop travelling because I have children. I choose to travel with my children, and delay moving abroad until later in life. I find a solution that gives room for both values. I own my decision, I become accountable and don’t blame others or hold grudges.
So, knowing your values doesn’t mean life will always be easy, but it will enable you to make decisions clearly and consistently.
Value Bomb
Can you identify when your values might be in conflict?
Ethical decision-making often involves weighing values against each other. If you prioritise one value over the other, inner conflict can arise. In relationships or groups, this is even more likely to happen. If you feel you have to compromise on your values, especially sacred values, you might not be able to move forward.
Rather than thinking, I can have this, or that, but not both, try to find a solution that meets both values. Rarely are decisions simply A or B. Normally we can create a C option.
Focus on the current value or quality of life/work/success you have right now.
Now ask yourself, how would decision A or B add more to your life/work/success. Which would add the most value without reducing the other others current value.
What can you do to amplify or create a C option?
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