Once you own your values, asserting your boundaries becomes easier. How people treat you is a direct consequence of how you allow people to treat you. Leading from your values makes it easier to communicate when something is not okay or unacceptable to you.
It doesn’t need to be mean or even aggressive; just simply say, ‘I am not comfortable with that’, or ‘that doesn’t sit right with me.’ It might even look like push back, ‘I can take that work on, but I will need to drop something else, what is a priority to you?’
There is no need to apologise or make excuses, just be clear and kind and firm. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I’m not saying you won’t need some courage. I’m saying that it’s worth the effort.
Gaining clarity on your boundaries
If you aren’t clear on your boundaries, try this:
1) Write each of your values on a piece of paper.
2) Now ask for each, what 3 behaviours support that value?
3) What would it look like in me?
4) What would it look like if others behaved in a way that dishonoured my values?
5) How can I put these behaviours into practice?
Many organisations add supporting behaviours to their company values to help demonstrate what it looks like in practice. Do this for yourself and get clear on what is OK and not OK with you.
"WHEN A LEADER ASSERTS THEIR BOUNDARIES, IT CREATES CERTAINTY AND SAFETY AND ULTIMATELY TRUST."
Lucy Barkas
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